Golf Tournament Etiquette

during the golfing:

1. at no time during the initial round should you bother to tell everyone how you havent played in a long time or whatever injury is preventing you from achieving your true form of excellent golfer. Nobody cares.

2. Don't crack a beer on the first hole unless you have enough beer or money to last you throughout the round. If you only have 4 beers or somthing it sucks to drink them all on the first 4 holes and then spend the rest of the day wanting more beer.

3. DONT HIT ON THE BEER GIRLS- I know they are cute and they keep coming by but that is there job and they dont like you. RAY I AM LOOKING AT YOU HERE. Ray gets singled out because he got us kicked out of the players club at casino windsor (where they give you free food and drinks and is supposed to be only for serious gamblers) because he couldn't stop himself from hitting on the buffet girl.

4. If you do drink tons of beer dont blame your crappy golf performance on being drunk.

5. Only one guy per tournament should really dress like a jack-ass. two possibly.

6. try to smoke at least a pack of cigarettes. you dont want to start the after party in that awkward "between packs" stage


In between golfing and the party

1. Dont take a nap: is what people will tell you but then those same people will be out of comission by 11:00pm. believe me TAKE A NAP. you will thank me later

2. If for some reason you cant take a nap but are getting kind of tired perhaps because you were up drinking at 8am and you really didn't just chill the night before like you intended then some ephidrine might give you a slight energy boost to tide you over untill 4am. I acually dont take ephidrine anymore and most doctors would NOT suggest mixing ephidrine with binge drinking. (in fairness most doctors wouldn't recomend binge drinking in combination with anything so mabye the ephidrine is ok)


at the after party

1. either funnel the beer or dont: no super slow funneling or stoping with half a beer left.

2. Keep your clothes on: this is more of a self-reminder


That is all enjoy your golf-tournament experience