speaking of putting my head in the oven I had to go into the CIBC to get a new bank card today and they wouldn't give on because I didn't have enough identification!!

Identification I had:
Birth Certificate- no good because there is no photo or signature
Drivers Licence- no good because it expired in 2001 (oops)
Health Card- possibly good she didn't explain
Student Card- no good because it is a U of T card I use to pretend I am my twin brother (our names are different)
YMCA Card- no good because it is from 3rd year university and I am fat as hell.

you would think though that between all of these things she could get a sense that I was me but she had the nerve to ask if I had a credit card which is ironic because the CIBC had just turned me down for a credit card 2 months ago. The C in CIBC is supposed to stand for CANADIAN but I guess nobody cares that the CIBC discriminates against unemployed canadians who have historically had trouble returning thier movies on time. I am actually not that upset that I don't have a credit card unless they have one that isn't accepted at any major drinking establishments and also doesnt let you purchase things like velour jumpsuits you saw on BET yesterday.

Anyway I freaked out (in Luke world freaking out involves saying things like "at this point I am going to have to express my displeasure" and raising my voice a percievable amount) because it was thier machine that ate my card and they were putting the onus on me to provide an unreasobable amount of identification.
I think it goes without saying that I got my card! (I wouldn't have wanted to break into the "im going to have to consider reviewing the services offered by other banking instiitutions" routine in front of the other customers)