I invited Bruce and Jen to our decathlon (except with only 5 events)/birthday party in mid-june. They seemed excited about coming and i am really excited about having them come although I havent exactly figured out a stratagy for having my friends not act like jack-asses in front of my sister. It is not like my sister is a saint or anything but she is more saint like than most people and also she is 30 so I dont want her to be uncomfortable at a party where there is a 75% chance that somebody will start preforming tricks with thier scrotem. If any of you fellow party goers are reading this I have compiled a list of likely offenders:

Most likely to offend Lukes sister or embarres Luke after funneling too many beers:

1. Luke Pettigrew: ok so i didn't think this one through before I wrote the title.


Friend of Luke's who is most likely to offend Luke's sister or tell inapropriate stories about Luke after funneling too many beers:

1. Matt Tagney: Not especially likely to offend Luke's sister but since she will fall under the catagory of "all women in the vicinity of Matt Tagney" she will by definition be offended at some point. also the last time SS Tagney (named because of the vessel-like sway of his drunken body) and Luke partied together we both woke up with cuts from hitting each other with the tiki-style bug torches GOOD TIMES.

2. Matt Sloan: Only #2 because his attendence is questionable and his girlfriend has limited but none the less empressive success lately at keeping "other Matt" from appearing.

3. Mark Irwin: Clearly no longer in controll of his apparently now violent binge drinking. has amazingly avoided breaking Luke's ribs up to this point.
4. Dean Embrey: Should have nothing against my sister but you just never know with the offendeanator.
6. Jeff Hewitt: May have trouble seeing my sister and try to walk through her.
7. Darcy Fairfield: click. click. click. click. click. click. watch out the wrecking ball is here.
8. Adam tomilinson: Old Yellors history at our condo parties makes him a threat even if he is still technically in Austrilia.
9. Ross Matheson: hopefully WHEN he passes out it wont be on my sister.
10. Randy Martin: I dont want to hear Bruce complaining that someone is "chiselling" on his wife.









OK LOSERS: the fact that i have compiled a list like this does not mean that this is a contest. I repeat DO NOT TRY TO MOVE UP ON THE LIST I HAVE ALLREADY SEEDED YOU.